Jersey Shore | Aesthetic Octopus

January 14, 2010

Links of the Third Daily Trimester 1/14/10

Picture Above: The internet is relentlessly trolling Jeff Zucker’s Wikipedia page today. That man seems to have a pretty good handle on his job/knowing what he is doing!

Watch: Kids reenact Jersey Shore. This is the best. Downing juiceboxes at the bar and trucking in the bedroom seems like a pretty suite life.

Watch: Aziz Ansari on Jimmy Kimmel. Aziz, you the best. Make sure to stay for the description of R. Kelly’s “explosive” concert. Putting scare quotes on words to imply a sexual meaning is so funny/original/Pulitzer Prize worthy!

Disney’s 10 Hottest Guys. I mean I guess Hook is hot? If that’s what you girls are into these dayz? I don’t know!

First person Tetris. Much harder than regular Tetris but mostly because it’s so much fun to just keep spinning around and only worrying where you end up after it is too late. Just like life!

January 9, 2010

Picture Above: The best weatherman in the world was fired, so he made possibly the greatest montage in the history of weatherman related montages. I had no idea who this man was before the video, but now I am really sad that he is leaving us.

Watch: Michael Cera dance fights Conan O’Brien. Despite the serious backlash, I still believe that Michael Cera is the best. And speaking of Conan O’Brien…

Conan O’Brien may be moving to Fox. Lame. Dear NBC, you are the worst (not true for many other reasons, such as Thursday night amazingness, but regarding this, you the worst).

The Situation’s abs look like an excited, cartoon puppy. No more Jersey Shore references for awhile, I promise.

Dolphins are people too? So say the scientists with their science talk and magic wands and what not.

January 9, 2010

Picture Above: Mario Sweater! Probably the best kind of sweater, probably. Make your own!
Melancholy Mollusk or in other words, anti-aestheticoctopus.com. Go for the dealings with indies and the Vampire Monthly reviews.
Jersey Shore gets classy. Let’s not let this become JerseyShoreOctopus.com, alright? Alright.
Man who says he was “massaging meat” gets 10 years in prison. I mean the sentencing was mostly for the stealing groceries part, but probably also mostly for the “massaging meat” part.
English threatens French more than the Nazis, so says linguistics. Good one linguistics!
Is the “tube scarf” 2k10’s first relevant trend? Hipster Runoff elaborates.

January 9, 2010

Picture Above: Looks like this soldier is going to have “difficult days ahead” at home as well. (If you don’t understand why this is so great, use your anatomy knowledge which I am assure is your most extensive/vast area of knowledge.) Via.
Picture: Dear F****** Creeper. A lady writes a letter to who she believes is a peeping Tom, and the man responds with another letter telling her what’s what.
Judge sworn in with hand on dictionary. God will be so upset if he finds out! Let’s just keep this our secret…
New Jersey Senate rejects bill legalizing gay marriage. At least God will be so happy about this…Also, if New Jersey is so worried about their reputation because of Jersey Shore, why are they doing even awfuler actions such as this? I bet Snookie and The Situation are much more tolerant/accepting than “the duly elected New Jersey Senate” or whatever.
Watch: Vampire recruitment video. I am sorry for this…viral marketing for something that is awful (or at least looks like it) should not be encouraged. But on the other hand, this is pretty hilarious. So I shall encourage. Also insider’s tip (because I am an insider!) if you don’t fill our the information after awhile, the recruiter starts to get pretty annoyed.

4 hours ago, comment

7:21 AM Mar 05, 2010, comment

Traditionally Unenjoyable Activities I Would Rather Do Instead Of Watching The Tonight Show With Jay Leno - http://tinyurl.com/y8sufcv